--er?

--ers are not evenly distributed. When I talk of --ers, I am talking about those people who are funnier, prettier, smarter than other people. The distribution, however, isn't really a distribution at all; the people who are --er are generally possessing more than one --er trait.

I'm sure I have some sort of --er trait, but it doesn't feel like it. At least none of the desirable --ers. I suppose you could say that anything can be an --er, but no one ever woefully looks at a person and says, "She's so much dumber than me, why can't I be like that?" Okay, so almost never, and those who DO say it are definitely the --er in that case anyway.

I feel like everyone I meet at Harvard is some sort of --er, and not all of them are smarter than others, there are a lot of --ers around here. It seems that Harvard is a place where the --ers are finally distributed, but somehow I missed out again.

Okay, so if I think about it really hard, I know I have some desirable --ers. I know there are people that I "trump" in a lot of ways, but in the dating world, it doesn't feel that way. The guys who are interested in me are interested in me for the wrong reasons. And then I find the ultimate --er. Better. You find the one who is actually better than all of the others you've met, at least so far, and you wonder what it is you can do to get him. Well, you have to be --er too. At least one of those desirable --er traits has to be yours. Otherwise, why would he want you? If there are --ers in his life that you don't trump, you'll never be his choice for beauty or brains or humor.

The quote about love not being about finding the perfect person but seeing a person perfectly sort of fits in here. After all, you don't have to be everyone's --er to be HIS --er. Right? The most important thing is to FEEL like you're his --er. As long as you're looking at his hot ex girlfriends or hearing about his hilarious best friend (who happens to be female), you won't feel like the --er. It's important, I've realized, to understand that just because he thinks his friend is funny, or just because other people think his ex is pretty, doesn't mean you're not the --er.

So even if it sometimes feels like the --ers in life aren't evenly distributed, it's because the --ers rarely feel like the --ers. We all want to be the --er, but we're all terrified that we fall behind everyone else.

I suggest making a list of your --ers. No one is THE --er. No one can be better than everyone, it doesn't work like that. But make a list of the things that make you an above average --er. I may not be hilarious, but I'm funnier than the average Harvard student. People here are seriously lacking in the humor department. I also may not have the most friends at Harvard, but I'm friendlier than just about everyone I meet. I don't buy my friends over and I don't lie to get friends, but I'm super friendly to everyone. I have my --ers. Everyone does. Time to get out there and show him what --ers you're made of! ;-)